I know I can be difficult. I know you know you can be too. I know that I sook and whinge and complain about things which you can’t change. I know you would change those things if you could. I hope you know that just because I sook and whinge and complain it doesn’t mean I love you any less. That I have an ability to make myself miserable no matter how amazing the people around me are. I know you wish you could fix me, make me happy. And you really do. Nine times out of ten, if I’m sooking and whinging and complaining, I’ll get over it in about two seconds and remember why I love you and that you make my life an entirely amazing place to be. I’m going to sook and I can’t help, you can’t change the things I sook about. But between all that I’m really happy I found you and hope you know that.
The good times are worth so much more than the bad. I love being around you. I love the way you are always on my side of the bed. I love the way you hold me so tight. I love the way you hold my hand. I love that you watch tv with me. I love the way you make me feel that I can be beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, hungry, drunk, bored, tired, awake or cranky and you’ll still be there, holding my hand and watching tv with me.
Sometimes I don’t understand people who don’t understand life. I suppose it can be hard to know what to do with it, and I’m not sure I know myself. But what I do know is that whatever you do, you should do with intent. You should decide what you want for your life and go after it, taking no prisoners.
If you decide that the ultimate goal of your life is to be a good, kind, giving person, then do it. Forgive and forget. Give to charity. Turn the other cheek. Do all you can you can to be a force for good in the world. Understand that not everyone has the same intent as you, not everyone is worried about being a good person, but you can’t let that affect you. You’ve decided what you want for your life. You can change it whenever you want, I won’t hold it against you, but know what you’re doing and do it well.
If you decide what you want for your life is a house on the hill, a fast car and fat pay check. Go for it. Lie, cheat and steal, you’ve got your ambition, don’t let anyone stand in your way. Sure, you might get it and decide you don’t want it, but fuck it, if you think that’s what you want then don’t let anyone tell you that you’re shallow or superficial. You’ve got a goal. Achieve it.
You might decide you want a life of good times. Alcohol, illegal drugs and sex. It’s a good a life as any. Do it. Stay up late, roll out of bed around midday. Look like a rockstar and never take anything too seriously. What’s the point? We’re here for a good time, not a long time. May as well make it a fucking hell of a time.
It’s when you want to do a lot that it gets hard. A house on the hill, a fast car, a beautiful partner, a fat pay check, well behaved kids, while being good and kind and giving while being the guy that’ll help anyone move while being everyone’s favourite party buddy. You might be able to do it. If you want to be that person, then you be that person. You be the fuck out of that person.
And maybe you’ll burnout. It happens. You can burnout just from trying to get that house or be that party buddy. Burning out isn’t a sign of failure, nor is it a badge of honour. It’s just something that happens. And if it does, you pick yourself and carry on like nothing happened.
Unless you want to be a burnout. And that’s fine too. Only you can decide what you want to be and only you can decide when you’ve achieved it. And maybe you don’t know, and maybe you do. Maybe you do but you don’t think anyone would approve and you’re scared of it. And that’s fine. There’s nothing scarier than knowing exactly what you want to be doing. But once you know. And once you’re not scared anymore. You should be the fuck out of the person you want to be.